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brycenshomeworkblog
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Name: Brycen
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Los Angeles
Birthday: 9/16/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: i kill thugs and play guitar...
Expertise: girls... yeah right!
Occupation: server/mixologist
Industry: food cervix
Message: message me
AIM:  elbrycen
Member Since:
1/12/2005
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| I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath thats true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
Youll come apart and youll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with whats not there.
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
A strangers light comes on slowly
A strangers heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
I think its strange you never knew | | |
| i find myself wondering what life is about. like, why are we here?
wow, i sound like a 15 year old who likes to read a lot of kafka when i say that.
but i really cant wrap my head around the question.
i mean, for one, you have the american dream. the wife, the 2 kids, the dog, the picket fence, etc. what makes that desirable? to be another cog in the wheel, a statistic in the economy, a producer? is there nothing more to life than filing reports and paying the mortgage? and saving for retirement and the kids college? i can't imagine a more pointless existence.
and then there's the classic christianese answer; 'we are here to glorify god'. do you really mean to tell me that when someone goes to work at taco bell it somehow glorifies god? that he is somehow entertained by our ability to make mediocre food products for stoners to eat at 3am? does a soldier glorify god when he goes to shoot some of those 'damn towel heads'? how did mandala glorify god? or pol pot? or ronald regean for that matter? god created those people for a purpose, and they fulfilled it. did they somehow make the world a better place in a way we don't understand? or is the whole world just dying for god's amusement? i guess i won't know the answer to that til i'm dead.
and then there is the stoner perspective. life is all about getting high and getting laid. the most appealing of these options for sure, the fact of the matter is you just can't be high all the time. well, you can, but once again, the difference between being high all the time and having the nicest house on the block is pretty negligable. you're still just passing time and trying to give meaning to a wasted life.
and i'm no different.
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| i have had a few drinks, so my points may not be as valid as i would like.
but there is a very important question.
it is not 'who did you vote for?'.
i did not even vote.
i boycotted the election. i guess i could have voted for nader but why?
for the obamians, do you really believe that obama is going to make the girl that broke your heart in high school call you to apologize? and then give you a high paying job flipping burgers?
and mcainiacs, do you really believe that johnny is going to make jesus come back and send all the heathens to hell?
will anything change come january?
i hope it does. our country is fucked up. seriously. we only need to look at the horrible way our parents treat our children to understand how selfishly the government treats our citezens.
yet we blindly follow, because after all, we get to vote for the people who make the choices that affect us.
it doesnt matter that our only choice is democrat or republican. it doesnt matter that whoever we choose is a liar, a fake, a crook and a cheat. it doesnt matter that whomever we choose, they will be bought out. and bought out quickly.
your voice doesnt matter. they just tell you it does so you will keep consuming. so you will keep the meaningless 'american dream' alive, working at a job you hate, taking zanax just so you can keep going through your worthless life, filing papers, flipping burgers, pouring coffee, oblivious to the events around you in the hopes you will eventually marry the spouse of your dreams, buy the house of your dreams, and retire at a reasonable age to enjoy these things.
the cake is a lie.
the american dream is a lie.
and deep down inside you know it.
we gotta take the power back.
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| yeah so i have been really drunk and posted here a few times it appears, cause i don't remember posting those blogs.
but seriously, i drink for 11 for a reason. the crushing weight that is my unfulfilled life.
but i can't really talk to anyone about it, because for some reason people see me as a very strong person and come to me with all their problems, and i just can't deal with it.
the crushing loneliness of being me is getting to be too much to bear. so i drink more and more and more.
and for a while i was unhappy. but now i just can't feel at all. i feel like i'm on xanax or something. but i'm not. have you ever taken an antidepressant or anti anxiety pill? it's a horrible feeling. i cannot imagine anyone paying money to feel that way, how anyone's life is so bad it's better just not to feel.
but now, i can't feel. i'm not voting in the election tomorrow. i just dont care. mccain is a liar and obama is a fake.
i think i have cancer. i know i should go to the doctor to get it checked out, but it would be nice to just die in my sleep. i'm never going to be anyone important. i'm just a waste of resources like 98 % of the rest of americans. the only difference is that i know it.
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| i'm drunk and contemplative.
and i fucking hate people.
everyone. ever.
i mean, how do you fuckers sleep at night?
how do you sleep with your boyfriends best friend because you're mad that he talked to his ex?
and what kind of best friend sleeps with his best friends girl?
and why do parents treat their children like shit?
why have kids?
i wish that my parents had had an abortion before i go to bed at night.
my life would have been so much better if it had never happened.
i am such a waste of resources.
but still, i'm no worse than anyone else.
everyone sucks.
everyone.
maybe music television really is the devil after all.
or maybe christianity really is the work of the devil after all.
or maybe nothing means anything.
maybe we're all just a random collection of molecules floating through space. maybe we dont even exist.
fuck it. i'm just going to drink the rest of my life away.
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